Galuh, Ken's friend from Timor, wrote a small description on the service in Bangkok last night:
Last night’s service for Ken was simple, informal, and warm –not unlike Ken himself. I thought that I would try to describe what it was like for all of us who couldn’t make it.
When I arrived on Saturday afternoon, at the same time as Romesh who flew from San Francisco, we were greeted by the bubbly enthusiasms of Robert and Eliza, who are now in 5th and 3rd grade. Soon after, Eliza was showing us ballet steps and Robert doing gymnastic flips (on to Ken and Yesi’s bed). I haven’t seen the children since they left Timor, and you could see that they have grown with so much love.
Yesenia had prepared their apartment for all the children who were coming to the service to be a ‘kid’s playground.’ The service was held upstairs, at their friend Miki’s apartment. Miki, a Japanese artist who does porcelain paintings, had moved her tables and chairs to the sides of the wall. On one side, there was a picture of Ken with some candles and flowers. Yesenia, Eliza and Robert sat next to this table. Also, one small wall had more pictures of Ken, with a hat, on a raft, in our patio in Liquisa (Patrick playing guitar, me and our Liquisa boys goofing around, with Yesenia and a baby Eliza on her knees, and Ken.)
The service started at about 7 pm, with Danny Brown welcoming everyone on behalf of Yesenia and the children. By then there were about 40 people there, many from Yesi’s school and church, Thomas (Ken’s friend from his El Salvador days who Yesi claims is responsible for them getting together), from Timor Jill, Charmain (and Greg), Eleanor, (as well as Danny, Romesh and me) and other friends from Bangkok. One of Yesi’s nun friends, Sr. Ester, said a prayer in Spanish, with a nice story for the children about leaving to go to heaven. Then we all held hands to recite Our Father. Then we were invited to speak.
Charmain read a note from Ken’s family in Boston which described them gathering at a hilltop park near Boston, where each of the 16 gathered there released a helium balloon with a special message for Ken. “We let the balloons go and watched them get carried away up in the sky and across the universe.” In their message they wanted us to remember Ken’s wit, funny laugh, crazy stories and how much he loved all of us.
Then I spoke about Ken. How we met first in 1999, at the temporary offices of HAK and Fokupers in Marconi in the early days after the violence. He was then working for the UN’s human rights unit, some kind of expert from Guatemala. There he was this fresh-faced, infectiously enthusiastic, humble, open hearted person who then became a good friend for the last ten years. We worked together at the UN, the CAVR, and since last year, with ICTJ’s partners in Indonesia. I described how when we started the CAVR we had no idea how to do this thing, and Ken was one of the few people who moved to Timor (with Yesi and Eliza and by then a baby Robert), held our hands with his can-do yankee candor, through the process of collecting thousands of victims statements and developing a system so we could hear what was being said by these thousands of voices.
Then, the Vice-Principal (Pastoral) from Yesenia’s school, led a prayer in the Maori language. It was a powerful rhythmic prayer with hand movements and facial expressions which carried this universal weight. Later, he explained that he was acknowledging our ancestors who were in a place where Ken was now, then sending strength and his prayers to Yesi and the children, and also to Ken. He said that Robert’s tears were falling on the earth and growing life. Life doesn’t end but continues to grow, with young shoots reaching for the sky.
Romesh also spoke about his work with Ken. How Ken excelled in his field and yet was so full of humility. How Ken was and is an inspiration for all of us who had worked with him, and that his contribution in this field of human rights is a legacy that we all will benefit from for a long time.
Yesenia also spoke, first in Spanish, then in English about her struggle to find a way to tell the children about Ken’s death (by then the children had left to play downstairs.) She talked about finding her strength for the sake of the children, and thanked all of us who have reached out to her, by phone, email, and also by coming here tonight. Then we closed the night by singing ‘Tears in Heaven’ –a song that had a special meaning for Ken and Yesenia. Yuki, a pianist, played some more songs while we began to eat and drink and mingle. A few of us stayed till much later, eating, drinking, and telling Ken stories. Before midnight we moved back to Ken and Yesi’s apartment and drank some more, listening to some of Ken’s favorite music, talking and crying and talking some more to Tracy Chapman’s soulful singing.
So with that my friends, we said good bye to Ken. Today (Sunday) Yesenia will be taking the children for an egg hunt at a friend’s house. And tomorrow (as it is Thai New Year holidays) they will go to the beach with some friends for a few days.
I am grateful that I have this opportunity to be here. As I walk to the kitchen to make coffee, I glance at Ken’s study with his big computer all on and set to go, jammed pack also with his exercise equipment to keep him fit for ultimate frisbee, and remember what a wonderful gift it has been to be his friend.
Galuh
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